Friday, September 20, 2019

The "l" word

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In my seventeen years in this world the one thing that keeps me constantly reeling with confusion is the "L" word. I have come to find that love, the most overly worn out word in the English language, has had me at quite a loss. I have come to find that many other teenage girls feel the same way I do because not many teens know what love is or when exactly to say, "I love you " to someone. But sometime during the eighth grade, the words "going out" were quickly replaced by the sophisticated term "dating." This became serious stuff and remains so now.


Recently I ended a three-month relationship with a guy named Eddie. It was a great three months but that "L" word can really tear a relationship between two young people apart. Not that there is anything wrong with saying "I love you " to someone but only being with the person for three months can really scare them away. This is what happened to me. I remember how Eddie gave me a dozen roses on our two-month anniversary. Going home and looking at these roses, I thought nothing or anyone would ever come between us because we liked each other too much to let that happen. Unfortunately after two and a half months of dating everything seemed to start going downhill. The reasons for the deterioration of the relationship did not involve cheating or a lack of communication. Actually, more than enough communication existed. The "L" word brought me to break up with this great guy who would do anything just to make me happy.


I suppose telling me he loved me was not that big of a deal, but what made me not want to be with him even more was when he called me at least twenty-five times within two days. His excuse for this was, he was worried something was wrong or that someone was trying to break us up. I tried to be a good girlfriend by attempting to cope with him, but I could not; I am only seventeen years old and do not need anyone calling me more than four times a day. Some girls may like being smothered by their boyfriend, but I am sure there is some limit as to how many times you can call your girlfriend in a day. The other thing, which scared me the most, was how Eddie told me he loved me while I wondered whether or not I really wanted to deal with a serious relationship my senior year. Another thing I could not forget was how he continuously told me I would be the one to put a stop to the relationship. This annoyed me because it made me feel he could not trust me and that he did not have faith in our relationship. Although Eddie and I are friends now I still look at the dozen dried roses he gave me and remember all the good times we had together.


Dating for American teens has changed over the years. Nowadays dating is just like having a fling with someone and trying the whole relationship thing out to make sure they can commit to each other without being unfaithful. Dating also seems to be an experiment of how to kiss, how to love, and how to deal with losing love. The reason why "dating" may be seen this way is because some of us teens have a hard time being with one person for more than five months because we want to be single and try the variety of people that are out there in society. Also because some people do not want to get attached to someone and then later down the road get their heart broken by that person whom they thought was "the one" for them.


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The things I guess the average boyfriend does not do all that much while dating is calling his girlfriend more than four times in a day. The same goes for girls except some people may think girls should have some leeway on this because girls seem to be more dramatic or emotional in relationships then boys do. Although there are guys who can be a lot more dramatic then girls can be because the guys maybe be taking the relationship a little more serious then his girlfriend maybe. The other thing, which comes in to play when "dating" someone, is how much the two love birds like each other because if there really are some sparks between the two and the couple is serious and wants to work on the relationship then maybe the two of them are really mean to be. There are also those teens that just like to get into relationships because they need attention from someone so they can feel secure about themselves and maybe even loved or just want to try the whole "dating" thing for themselves instead of people telling them no to take a chance because they will just get their heart broken.


All of us teens have life left to live and love yet to give. Though some girls and guys may think it would practical to search for that sagacious guy or girl, many teens still turn their heads or stare straight ahead to see if the person who passed by or coming their way could be the "one."


It seems that the older we get, the more teenagers seem to have a heart that is quick to fall in love. Many teens have learned that there really is a time when you find someone who seems to share the same hopes and dreams as you- someone to whom you give your whole heart. I believe this is the way teens have learned the pain of a broken heart. I will say that for myself that for "puppy love" the pain at the time seems never ending. But soon you learn to pick up the pieces of you shattered heart, mold them carefully into almost what your heart was before (for many teens once you have had your heart broken once, it is never quite the same), and then both girls and guys become more discerning about which Juliets or Romeos they fall for.


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