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Tracey Isaac
Mr. Reardon
Faith, Morality, and the Person
5 March 00
Write your The Effects of Betrayal research paper
Betrayal and Its Effect on Others
Lying, not telling the whole truth, deception, and cheating are all a type of betrayal when it is done to another human being. Everyone lies at one time or another and no matter how big or small the lie is, if it is found out it can hurt another individual. I personally feel very strongly about this subject because it has had a great impact on my life. I can strongly relate to the characters in the book, Scandolous Risks. Lies made by another person has changed my life in many ways, including not being able to trust others, not being able to get close to another person, and having a feeling of jealously towards people who do have these bonds.
When I was four years old my father cheated on my mother and they divorced. My mother was hurt terribly by this and even though I was too young to understand what was going on, I caught her crying on many occasions. Now that I am more mature, I have learned the whole story and see the great effect it has had on her and my family. Most of all, I noticed the effect it started having on me. I saw my dad every summer and he seemed to be a great person and I enjoyed spending time with him. Once my mother told me what happened in earlier years, I started to take a different view of my father. I thought to myself, how could he do that to her? I was very niave to the fact that not everyone is perfect and this was his downfall. I did not see him much after I knew what he did to my mother and I.
Currently, I am having a hard time trusting people, especially people that I am close with. I compare every guy that I date to my father and think, if my father seemed perfect and he broke my mothers trust, this guy could easily do the same to me. I know not all guys lie and cheat, but I also know that even the ones that seem loyal and honest do. I do not know how I can ever fully trust anyone and since I hope to marry one day, this scares very much.
I also have a difficult time developing close relationships. Once I notice that a guy is getting serious about a relationship, I tend to back off. I feel that if I allow myself to get close, the issue of trust will eventually come up. In addition, I am terrified that once I do establish a strong relstionship, the guy will leave. This also causes me to lie and pretend to be close to someone even if I am not. I know this is not fair to the guy, but I feel that as long as he thinks I trust him, I wont get hurt.
Since I have never had a good, trusting relationship, I envy those that can. I see my friends parents and wish my parents could be like that. They trust each other to never lie and remain faithful. They also seem very content and have no worries. I also wish I could one day be like that but as long as I allow myself to be effected by this, it never will.
Similarly, while reading the book Scandolous Risks, I noticed how the affair affected the character Venitia. She did not necessarily have a spouse to lie to, but the effect it had on her was quite great. She could not move on with her life after the termination of the relationship with Aysgarth. Not only that, but she might have found someone better in London or possible found love for Eddie. Her decision to stay in this dead end relationship changed her for the worse and kept her from truly seeing what and who was out there. As stated by the definition for objective morality, a person changed wither positively or negatively after making certain decisions. Venitias decision made her less of a human being because she cannot see past the relstionship. She will probably die with it on her mind.
Unlike Venitia, I did not decide to lie, cheat, or deceive anyone. What I decided, was to allow the decision of my father to effect my life. My father, who is similar to Aysgarth in some ways, appeared to be a great person. Many people in my family were shocked to know to truth about him. Like Aysgarth, my father never wanted to hurt a woman, especially me. We have talked about my feelings a few times and he tells me that he never thought it would affect me this way. However, I was greatly hurt by this event. As stated by Aysgarth If I ever wound up destroying a woman, I couldnt live with myself - Ive told you that before, Ive told you that I am afraid of destroying you (). What he did not realize is that he started destroying her the moment he started behaving romantically. The moment he said , my dearest Venitia (155) in a far different tone, he started ruining her life.
It is a shame that by the time Aygarth and my father realized that they had ruined someones life, it was too late to change it. Venitias life continued to fall apart even after the relationship ended. She never found true happiness or love. What worries me, is that I too will never be able to trust or love anyone. My friends talk about marriage as if it is something that is soppose to happen in their lives. However, I look at marriage as a goal, something that I will have to work to obtain.
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